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Post by rihochan on May 23, 2006 0:07:05 GMT -5
I've been writing the setting for a story that I'm thinking about turning into a novel. I'm going to post the first of three parts of the setting in this thread, and I want you all to tell me what you like and what you hate about it. _______________________________________________________
The city of Halverse was once called the most beautiful city on the continent of Delasta, and it is still quite beautiful, in a far different way. The white towers have been twisted and corrupted by the constant stream of chaos energy from a gate opened by a priest who got into an argument with a priest of a rival sect over the right time to kneel in morning services. The once graceful promenade, with its dragon fountains, pastel-pretty shop fronts, and houses of the wealthy, has become a home for undead unleashed by a sorceror with a political agenda. Ironically, the slums have been given an eery sort of beauty by the opening of a gate to another worldin the center of them. The crumbling tenements have been transformed into marble mansions by the beings called the Fharden who have arbitrarily decided that the city belongs to them. No one argues with them, as their tendency toward turning offensive people into living statues makes for a powerful incentive to behave. The merchant quarter has become home to a rampaging horde of giant insects which have proceeded to build a giant hive in the center. You may ask, 'What the heck happened here?!', and the answer would be that I happened. For centuries magic in this world was limited to illusions and minor healing, then I accidentally broke the crystal orb that held the seals on all the world's magic. Now every person in the world has at least a minor ability to use magic, and so disagreements tend to spill over and cause unforseen consequences. Where am I in all this? Well, I'm a crystal statue in the same room I broke the crystal orb in. Being a statue has given me a unique perspective on the events in this city. All the magic I would have if I was free, is now used to watch the increasingly chaotic and destructive events all over the city. I must say, I kind of like being a statue. To be continued....
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Post by murmkuma on May 23, 2006 0:47:57 GMT -5
Not bad, not bad......its got me interested......Someday when the story finnishes playing itself out in my head You will hear About the Continent Vandal and the near destruction of the Omniverse due to the Uncontrollable Usurper God .....Murm The Almighty.
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Post by rihochan on May 23, 2006 0:54:18 GMT -5
Here's the second part of the setting. ______________________________________________
Perhaps I should describe the Fharden? The Fharden have two legs and two arms and mammalian skin, but that is the extent of their resemblance to humans. Their hair shimmers and changes color with their moods, as do their ever glowing eyes. Their ears are long and covered with iridescent fur. Their teeth are those of a predator, sharp and long. Their noses come to sharp points an inch or so out from their faces. Their cheekbones are sharp and give a strange sense of fragility. Their chins are smooth and hairless, and their lips are thin and more cartilage than flesh. Their bodies are slender and willowy, looking like they could be blown away in the slightest of breezes, but appearances are deceptive as they possess immense physical and magical power. Their hands are thin and have nine fingers each, at the end of each digit is a talon that can cut through flesh and steel with equal ease.
Their culture is one of deception and intrigue. Magical power determines position. The stronger the magic, the higher their caste. Murder is legal, but getting caught (getting caught in the act is a crime, not the murder itself) is grounds for execution. Rape is punishable by the death of the offender and any progeny they might have produced (the theory being that rapist tendencies are hereditary). Guest rights are taken very seriously. If a guest is allowed to be harmed, the host is required to commit ritual suicide to expunge the stain on his honor. Mistreating a guest is often cause for war between houses. Theft is applauded, if one has the skill to avoid capture. Strangely, slavery and indenture are illegal. The belief is that either circumstance prevents potential players in their great game from coming into being. It is not a decision based on morality, but rather an attempt at creating an ever more complex game of intrigue. The central authority of the Fharden is the Caharys. However, the Caharys resides on their home world, so the Fharden in the city are ruled by the spy master and king of assassins known as the Soheraka. A well-constructed lie is considered to be of as great of value to the society as pure truth (it is considered to be one of the highest forms of art). Non-Fharden's positions depend on two things: the strength of their magic, and whether they oppose Fharden rule. To the Fharden, if a sentient being is exceptionally skilled or powerful in magic, then they are automatically given a place in their society, regardless of race. Opposition to the Fharden has only one result, being turned into a statue while kept alive for eternity. Naturally, this makes actual opposition to the Fharden a rarity.
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Post by murmkuma on May 23, 2006 1:02:52 GMT -5
very interesting
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Post by WATERCHAMP on May 23, 2006 7:29:22 GMT -5
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Post by rihochan on May 24, 2006 1:39:37 GMT -5
Well, here's the third part... There will be one more part to the setting after this. ________________________________________________________________
In the slums of Halverse there is a single building that is completely untouched by the Fharden invaders. A simple ramshackle hut that seems to hold no value in itself. Inside the hut is a boy of about twelve years. His scrawny body has been molded by years of privation and suffering. He wears a ragged canvas tunic and a pair of badly stained and ripped trousers. His hair (under years of filth) is brown. His face is gaunt, and criscrossed with scars and the mottling of various childhood diseases that would have been easily cured by a trip to an herbalist, but few people who lived in the slums had ever been able to afford the services of an herbalist. The reason why the hut and the boy are untouched by the chaos outside? The boy sleeps, and while he sleeps his home is surrounded by the demons that exist only in his eternal nightmare. Their very existence relies on the boy remaining undisturbed, so needless to say, they have fought viciously to keep the Fharden from interfering in any way. A small, goblinoid demon feeds the boy a broth made from the flesh of the fools who regularly make attempts to discover what lies within the hut. In the corners of the hut shadows of the damned scream in torment as they are tormented by the shadows of demons. Who can know what will happen when the boy awakes? He will awake, it is only a question of when. This question troubles the Fharden, so they constantly watch the boy through golems and homonculi. The councils of the Fharden cannot decide what to do about the sleeping child. Should they slay him? Should they leave him be? Should they make efforts to contain any possible damage? Should they attempt to awaken him? Various factions among the Fharden lobby for various actions in hopes of gaining an advantage in their perpetual scheming. Only the Soheraka does not seek to gain an advantage from the situation, as his power far surpasses that of all the other Fharden in Halverse combined. He is forced to stay neutral so as to avoid being seen as favoring any particular faction over the others.
In the merchant quarter, giant insects are rapidly converting the once ostentatious mansions of the wealthy elite into their basic components for use in the expansion of the giant hive. To the insect creatures, individuality is non-existent and completely inconcievable. The center of the hive-mind, (or the queen if you prefer) is unable to understand the human beings she sees as infesting the city. The concept of hundreds of seperate minds moving on their own tracks and purposes has not and will not ever occur to her naturally. The insects are omnivorous but prefer plantlife whenever possible as flesh lacks many of the nutrients neccessary to maintain their bodies. The destruction of the city is more to eliminate what the hive-mind sees as a rival hive, than to provide food for the hive. However, the hive-mind detests waste, so the flesh of the dead naturally goes into the hive to be consumed. Most of the insects are drones... gatherers that resemble giant bees. Then there are the warriors. The warrior insects are bipedal and winged. Unlike the drones, there is almost no resemblance to any earthly insectoid creature. The frontal limbs are essentially segmented chitin blades sprouting from the main body. The middle limbs are clawed hands that can be used to either climb walls or latch onto their prey. These are the only creatures that have been witnessed by living humans... and my vision doesn't extend into the hive itself.
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lild
New Ninja
Posts: 1
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Post by lild on Aug 23, 2006 7:21:36 GMT -5
I like it
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Post by kenpachi on Aug 23, 2006 13:30:12 GMT -5
it sounds like a good story riho ;D. Honestly the detail you go into seems to be as if you were making the city up for an rpg. It gives me ideas for my own writing.
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